Coach D4

1. The relationship traits that are known to destroy marriages include: *

Criticism Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling (Withdrawal)

2. When is defensiveness appropriate? *

Correct obvious misconceptions or lies Defend against false accusations Protect yourself from verbal attacks Ward off physical abuse

3. Defensiveness is problematic when it becomes a PATTERN of attitude and behavior. *

True False

4. The healthy replacement behavior for defensiveness is: *

Withdrawal Contempt Openness

5. The "attack" that you perceive as a threat to your happiness may be a "blessing in disguise." *

True False

6. Which of the following are key points for learning openness? *

Initially accept what the person is saying to you Keep and apply that part which is valuable to you Leave (reject) that part which is worthless to you

7. Distorted thoughts or unrealistic expectations make it almost impossible for us to receive criticism in a gracious way, and we become defensive, instead. *

True False

8. A clever twist that can prevent defensiveness and avoid the power struggle in any conflict is: *

List the "facts" and take a vote Get a referee to officiate the argument Argue the other person's case

9. What happens when you look at a situation from the other person's perspective? *

Defensiveness disappears Communication opens up Desires are understood Love flows

The 7 Deadly Relationship Sins