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Lifestyle Certificate
2. Invalidation
"Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath."
-- James 1:19
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Notes
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This quiz is "open book." You may refer to the Video & Notes.
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1. Invalidation is 1 of the 4 traits that:
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A. Are found in all failed relationships
B. Are strong predictors of divorce
C. Are often learned in the home of origin
D. Tend to neutralize all the good in any relationship
Mark all that apply.
1. The correct answer is:
A, B, C, D
2. Often subtle, but universal examples of invalidation include which of the following?
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A. Ordering - "Get over it." "Grow up." "Be happy!"
B. Isolating - "You're the only one that feels that way."
C. Minimizing - "It's not that bad." "Are you kidding?"
D. Reasoning - "There's no reason for you to feel that way."
E. Judging - "You're too sensitive." "You're over-reacting."
F. "Should"ing - "You should be: excited / happy / thankful."
G. Mocking - "Did I hurt your little feelings?"
H. Guilting - You don't think about anyone, but yourself!"
I. Philosophising - "Time heals all wounds."
J. Religionizing - "I'll pray for you." "God will help you."
Mark all that apply.
2. The correct answer is:
A - J
3.The healthy replacement behavior for invalidation is:
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A. Agreeing with everything
B. Ignoring, but saying: "Yes, dear."
C. Active, empathetic LISTENING
3. The correct answer is:
C
4. Invalidation generally occurs whenever you fail to first listen carefully and then empathize with them.
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A. True
B. False
4. The correct answer is:
A
5. The "Behavioral Change Stairway Model" used by the FBI in crisis negotiations includes:
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A. Active Listening
B. Expressing Empathy
C. Building Rapport
D. Gaining Influence
E. Asking for a behavioral change
Mark all that apply.
5. The correct answer is:
A - E
6. Most relationships are in many ways like a hostage situation with "life and death" results depending on how we deal with them.
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A. True
B. False
6. The correct answer is:
A
7. Active listening skills include:
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A. Eye Contact
B. Paraphrasing
C. Summarizing
D. Asking open-ended questions
E. Using "I" statements in response
Mark all that apply.
7. The correct answer is:
A - E
8. Which of the following are appropriate for asking open-ended questions?
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A. What?
B. When?
C. Where?
D. How?
E. Why?
Mark all that apply.
8. The correct answer is:
A - E
9. Most of us do NOT necessarily want people to agree with us. We basically just want to be understood.
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A. True
B. False
9. The correct answer is:
A
10. A big part of conveying genuine understanding is good, solid, active, empathetic listening.
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A. True
B. False
10. The correct answer is:
A
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